Hydration 101

You are going to sweat your tits off.

This is not a wellness lecture. This is a practical guide for surviving six hours of dancing in a packed club where the AC is decorative.

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The room is hot

Hundreds of bodies, lights, lasers, and questionable ventilation add up fast. At the Aragon, the AC barely works on a good day. Assume you are going to sweat.

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You are not standing still

If you have been dancing for an hour, you have been exercising for an hour. The fact that there is a DJ does not make this physiologically different.

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Water is part of the night

Not an afterthought. Not something you get only when you feel awful. Water should be circulating through the group all night.

The circuit-party problem

You are in a crowded room. It is 1:30 AM. The DJ is peaking. Your shirt disappeared two hours ago. Everyone is sweating through everything. Somebody has a fan, somebody has gum, somebody has a tiny bottle of something suspicious, and nobody has water.

This is the exact scenario Twink Rights exists to prevent.

Do not wait until you feel wrecked

If you are already dizzy, headachy, dry-mouthed, or suddenly wondering why the room feels 15 degrees hotter than it did ten minutes ago, you are late to the hydration conversation.

The correct move is boring and effective: drink some water before that happens, then keep doing it periodically throughout the night.

Club hydration rules

If you go to the bar, bring back water too

One for you, one for whoever looks driest, and one for Bobby if he is in the building.

If your friend is sweating like they just ran a 10K

Offer water before they ask. This is community care, not an intervention.

If you have been dancing through an entire DJ set

Take five minutes, cool down, drink water, then return to your regularly scheduled bad decisions.

If the venue is the Aragon

Assume the HVAC has abandoned you personally and plan accordingly.

Alcohol is not hydration

That being said, we probably shouldn't be drinking alcohol at this point.

And then there is Bobby

Bobby is usually busy making sure everyone else has what they need. You know, 'mints' โ€” Bobby provides.

That means everyone else should be checking on Bobby's water situation all night. If you cannot remember the last time someone offered him water, congratulations: it is your turn.